Category: Life

Satan Wants My Squeaker

I had this dog for a while who would utterly destroy all his squeak toys. It didn’t matter what they were made of, it typically only took him a few days to get at the toy’s squeaky little heart.

He would do it through small wounds, generally, and just work the toy over. He’d pull out little bits of stuffing from each tear in the material and deposit them on the living room floor as he worked to get at his ultimate goal–the messy death of the squeak toy.

When he finally got there, he’d crush the squeaker between his jaws and then just lay there and enjoy the carnage he’d created.

This morning I was thinking how much my faith is like one of those dog toys.

I’ll get wounded from time to time–small tears in my fabric. A little stuffing will come out, sometimes more than a little. Yet because my heart is still squeaking, I convince myself my wounds are only superficial. It’s only a cut or two.

I tell myself the cuts are no big deal, and since they don’t (really) threaten my life, I don’t need to worry about them.

The world–and life–are the cause of the tears in my fabric.

The world can’t get to me because of my faith, or because my wounds really aren’t that bad.

My wounds are not mortal.

And then the truth came.

1. It isn’t one singular tear in the fabric of my faith that will be my undoing.

2. It’s the collective whole of my wounds and the blame apportioned for their cause that can draw me away from God if I let them.

3. It’s separation from God that will kill me.

4. The tears in the fabric of my faith are caused by doubt, and by whispered lies from the enemy about God, and myself, and my wounds.

Another truth that came to me today is that for every lie we’re told and believe there is a corresponding truth from God.

We can fight the lies with truth, and it is that same truth that heals the tears in our fabrics–in my fabric.

It’s normal to doubt. Doubts mean you take your faith seriously, and provided you don’t allow them to overrun your faith, they can help you in the end. That is, if you seek the truth with a disciple’s heart. Doubt can only overcome you if you let it–if you do not fight.

Make no mistake, there is an enemy to fight. He prowls around like a lion (or perhaps an angry dog), looking for something to devour (1Peter 5:8).

That something is you. And me. It’s tough to hear, and even tougher to talk about. People want to hear platitudes, and that everything is good and beautiful and that they are saved from harm by faith.

That’s true, but not the only truth.

Our enemy–and I do mean Satan–can and will stop at no height or depth in his quest to separate us from God. He tears at the fabric of our faiths, and our lives. He burrows deep in our guts, attempting to get at our hearts.

He can’t unless we let him. We don’t have to.

We can fight.

We can pray the armor of God daily, and we can seek the Lord’s truth in and for our lives.

Otherwise, the world is the least of our worries. We’ll end up like this poor thing, but for eternity.

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On Fire

I’ve been thinking of a song all day today. “On Fire,” by Switchfoot.

It’s a beautiful song, and one of those ballads you could easily take as either about a relationship between a man and woman, or between a believer and God. Jenny and I heard it at the first concert we went to as a couple, back in 2008. Before I go any further, just listen:

This is actually from the very show we attended:

I love the song, and when I hear it I think of falling for Jen, long before we were planning to get married.

“But everything inside you
Knows there’s more than what you’ve heard
There’s so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words”

I’d spent so much time talking to different women. Some I wanted to be involved with and never got to be. Some I shouldn’t have been involved with, but was. It wasn’t until I started spending time with Jen that I knew what it could really be like to have God in common in a relationship—to have Him mean the same thing to each person..

Things change when that happens.

“There’s so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words”

I discovered that when Jen and I started talking, and I will be ever grateful she sent me that first email. It changed my life in every way a life can be changed.

Today, though, I was thinking about the song in a different way, and the part that kept repeating in my head was this:

“Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be near you

When everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take”

Today, I was thinking about God when the song was playing in my head, and the funny thing is, I didn’t even listen to the actual song today until I typed this sentence.

I’ve been feeble and inconsistent in my devotional life, and it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me that I was having difficulty.

I’ve been feeble and inconsistent in my prayer life as well, and that is perhaps worst of all.

Perhaps as a result of both of these things, I’ve been down on myself tremendously of late. Mainly, this has been because I feel like I’ve been epic failing in my ministry commitments at church, and questioning whether or not my current involvement in Youth Ministry is even where I’m supposed to be involved.

I’ve been really giving myself a ration of crap.

So today I found myself singing quietly to God:

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be near you

When everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take

And I also began to think about how easy it is to start looking at ourselves as piles of garbage—piles of crap.

Our enemy wants us to have these sorts of images of ourselves, and the opposite is true.

We were not created worthlessly, no matter the circumstances of our births.

We were not created to offer weak prayers and insincere pledges of fealty to God based on what we think our needs are.

We were made not as piles of excrement or garbage, no matter what our erroneous self-images may tell us.

We were made in His image, and meant to offer Him our most sincere prayers—and our hearts—and to cry “Holy, Holy, Holy.”

This is my prayer—that I find that ability within myself, and also the ability to tune out the things and negative thoughts that help no one, least of all myself.

So that When everything inside me looks like everything I hate, I will be able to remember what I am actually worth to my God.

I Have Decided

People talk a lot about what it means to be saved. They discuss the semantics of it, and different ways they believe it can and cannot be achieved.

Many doubt there is even such a thing as salvation at all. In order for salvation to exist, there must be a thing or perhaps circumstance we are delivered from. In order for mankind to be delivered from sin, sin has to exist.

If sin exists, what is it, and what is the punishment for committing it?

Perhaps a very simple way to put it would be that it is something that pulls us away from God and toward the world, or ourselves, and our own gratification and glorification becomes paramount. The punishment is death.

The semantics of sin have generated endless hours of arguments, likely millions of written pages, and one dead and resurrected savior.

So what does a person have to do in order to be spared eternity outside the presence of God?

Some believe all one needs is to a be a good person. Treat people well and be nice to dogs and homeless veterans.

Others think faith in God receives the gift of salvation rather than causes it.

Then you have decision theology, which tells us one must make a conscious decision to “accept” Christ and follow his teachings to be saved from sin and its penalty.

I think that some people make it a lot more complicated than it actually is. They’ll talk about theology like monergism and that doesn’t sound like Jesus at all to me.

I think you truly do have to simply decide to follow Jesus, and then do it. It is a lifelong commitment, and it is not always easy.

I think of the old hymn, composed in India “I Have Decided To Follow Jesus. Who knows how this hymn was actually composed? I’d like to believe it’s the first version given in the above linked web page, but the truth is that even if it is not, that does not make the words any less true.

Here is a beautiful version of the song, and the story behind it.

As for me, I have decided to follow Jesus.

Something Needs to Change

I really hate election time.

Maybe I’m not being realistic, but I’d hope it would be possible to hear about hear about what ails the country and how each candidate plans to fix it without this almost feral ugliness going on right now.

It seems like people are more interested in making others afraid of the uncertainties to come and who is to blame for them rather than addressing what’s going on and how to fix it.

No candidate is completely innocent of this kind of sensationalism, though supporters of the incumbent president seem to possess a little more in the way of political vitriol than the hopeful candidate’s do.

It’s easy to see by a simple search of social media.

Regardless, this behavior does continue, and in my opinion it is not just because we allow it, but we also condone and support it.

I don’t know what the solution to that is.

Do you?

Haters Gonna Hate

People love their causes. Every time you turn on the news, someone is protesting something, and that’s cool. You get to make a sign, and scream slogans. Maybe you get on TV, or even sleep in a tent in a park and miss a few days of work. And you can say “I was there.”

I just feel like people’s love of a protest is in a sense jumping the shark, as the saying goes. What may have been an effective way to draw attention to a cause at first has now become more about drawing attention to the protestor, in many cases.

I think now, it has become commonplace to try and suppress opinions we don’t agree with. While it happens with both conservative and liberal groups of people, of late the avalanche of protests appears to skew toward the left.

Because conservatism is hopelessly archaic and no longer useful to what has become a more progressive and certainly more liberal world.

I just feel like if we are not careful, protesting is going to go the way of occupying and class action lawsuits.

Something that was once (and still can be) effective is going to become a joke, and make our country a joke.

Effective protest:

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Now, it’s a little more like:

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It doesn’t have to be.

The Upper Room

Jen and I went to the Wednesday night youth service last night, and it was really good, even from the cheap seats. This particular service was a little heavier on music than usual, but the music was awesome, led by Sam.

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It was probably one of the more memorable evenings at church I’ve had in some time. What made the night stand out for me was not what I would have expected.

Sam and the band were great, and Zeb’s sermon was convicting (I’m sure he was talking directly to the old guy in the back row), but it was this young man next to Jen that got to me.

I know him a little, and he’s a really great guy. He’s probably only a year or two removed from youth group himself, but I don’t think I know another person of any age I’ve seen worship with such abandon.

I was truly in awe of this young man’s total submission to God during the service. We didn’t speak last night, but every time I would glance in his direction he was worshipping on a level I’ve never gotten to. Raising his hands, singing at the absolute top of his lungs–it was a beautiful thing. Just him and God.

I hope I can get to that point. I want to praise and worship like that–as if no one else is in the room.

As it is, I’m probably a little beyond self conscious when it comes to worship. I’m not one of those people who is unaware of his own presence in a room. I’m typically one of the largest people there, and if I kicked it up more than a little during worship time, I’d probably look like a manatee having a grand mal seizure.

So I usually just chill out and do my own thing, even though I sometimes feel my own thing is not necessarily the best I can give God.

The young man last night was definitely giving it all he had, and didn’t give a rip about who was in the room, and whether or not they were paying him any attention (though people downstairs may have heard him singing).

It was a great night, and gave me lots to think about. Plus, Magen was holding a really cute puppy.

Two Songs

It’s interesting how every now and again music (especially praise & worship music) will sort of ambush you with conviction. It could be a completely new song to you, or one you’ve heard a bunch of times. It won’t matter. You’ll just get kicked in the nuts and convicted in a really powerful way.

It happened to me twice today (so far). The first was on the way to work this morning when I heard this:

Lead Me, by Sanctus Real. It describes very well what it takes to lead a family, and this morning it spotlighted the areas where I’ve been remiss.

Nut shot number one.

Later on, I had to drive back to town on an errand, and I was just kind of looking around at the fields as they went by on the way back to the office. I started thinking the countryside out here was not much to look at. Master of irony that I am, I wondered for a minute what God was thinking when he made this particular little patch of desert.

Then I heard this song:

Nut shot number two. Filled With Your Glory, by Starfield.

I realized I take the things and places God made completely for granted. There is beauty in all His creations, and if I choose to see only ashes, that’s on me. I think I need to also try and make sure the eyes of my heart are open when I’m driving. You can see better that way.

The desert is magnificent in its own way, and that people can actually (and quite successfully) pull crops from it is truly a testament to God’s glory and man’s God-given resourcefulness.

Take a listen to these songs, and maybe they’ll mean something to you, too.

Mad Blood Stirring

It didn’t surprise me when Chik-fil-a executive Don Cathy remarked that the company he works for supports a biblical view of marriage. It shouldn’t have surprised anyone. It is common knowledge Chik-fil-a is a privately owned, Christian-ran company. They close on Sunday so their employees can attend church–if they choose.

I think that’s great. I worked in the fast food industry for some time, and would have appreciated the day off. That’s neither here nor there, though.

What did surprise me about what has now become known as the “Chik-fil-a controversy” is the shit storm Cathy’s remarks generated, though I suppose that shouldn’t have surprised me, either.

It didn’t seem to matter to anyone that Cathy did not seek a forum to air his views. He simply responded to a question, without any particular animosity or hatred toward homosexuals or anyone else.

Then the LGBT community and those who support them completely lost their minds and started screaming hatred and intolerance from every rooftop they could get a foothold on.

The man just answered a question.

Let me also say I agree with Mr Cathy and also believe in a traditional and biblical view of marriage. Call me whatever you’d like.

That said, after boycotts were threatened and many harsh words were spoken in the name of tolerance, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee waded into the fray by organizing what he called “Chik-fil-a Appreciation Day.” I was all for that. I thought then (and do now) that Cathy has every right in the world to his own opinions, and every right to express them in answer to a question.

Opinions aren’t against the law.

Opinions are in a sense protected by the law, as are those who voice them.

So a great many people turned out for Chik-fil-a Appreciation day, and drive throughs and dining rooms were all choked with customers, presumably most in agreement with Cathy regarding gay marriage. It was a huge success, and probably several large white feathers in Mike Huckabee’s cap.

I probably would have went myself if there was a Chik-fil-a in Yuma. Instead I took the boys to Carl’s Jr.

But anyway.

I was sitting at in the cafe area at church yesterday trying to pretend there were not donuts only a few short steps away when I started thinking about how Christians really did seem to be thought of negatively these days, and more conservatively held religious and political views often at the least mocked and/or ridiculed, and those who voice them branded as intolerant.

Nothing worse than being intolerant these days. To me, being tolerant of something either means to ignore it or support it. There are things that can be ignored, and other things that can’t.

To someone that professes Christ, we cannot ignore the fact that we live in a fallen world that in many cases holds no love for us. We are called to recognize sin when we see it, while we are also aware of the sin that lives in us at the same time. Christ’s propitiation on our behalves is the only thing that can save us both from it and it’s due penalty.

We are meant to call out the goodness in people by sharing with them the good news of Christ. Part of doing that is pointing out that there is a cost to living a Godly life, and part of that is turning away from sin. The bible is clear on what is sin and what is not.

Often (and probably in this case) people focus too deeply on this sin (homosexuality) they do not struggle with, to the extent they feel justified in overlooking a myriad of other sins.

Make no mistake, the bible is clear homosexuality is sin. It doesn’t matter how commonplace it is, or how much society at large has grown to accept it. We can be as progressive as we want in our faith, and we can call things whatever we want.

We can’t change the truth of scripture.

And while I was trying to avoid donuts yesterday, God pointed out a couple of truths to me; convicted me of them in fact.

No matter what Huckabee and the participants called it, the Day of Appreciation was a protest. The motive, in a sense, did not (and does not) matter.

That day was sort of a middle finger to those who try to silence the viewpoint of the average Christian through slander, and ridicule, even intolerance (because tolerance only extends as far as viewpoints that agree with the status quo).

God is very clear this is something we are not to do.

He tells us what we will face if we follow Him. He warns us about it.

“If the world hates you, it hated me first…(John 15:18-21)

See also Matthew 10: 16-20, Matthew 5:10-12

He consoles us with Romans 8:16-18, and 35-39.

Never, anywhere, does God tell us to flip the bird to sinners, and tell them they can’t put us down. He also tells us what we are to do in response to hatred and persecution:

“but I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you in the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Matt 5:39

Or

“do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Lev 19:18.

I don’t really think you can get much more specific than that. And it’s important to note Chik-fil-a did not instigate any protest, and even went so far as to hand out free water to protestors.

But people still protested, on both sides of this particularly ugly coin. No one wants to feel marginalized, or to have their thoughts, beliefs and worldview mocked and ridiculed.

But Jesus told us it was coming. I think it has come.

I think worse is coming.

I know we have clear instructions as to what we should do.

We should pray for those who persecute us.

And as odious as it might be, as unjust as it might be, we must turn the other cheek, and not seek revenge or retribution.

The world is not friendly to righteousness. It never has been. Sometimes I feel the world has gone completely mad, and as Shakespeare pointed out, “The day is hot, the Capulets are abroad, and if we meet we shall not escape a brawl. For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.” (Romeo & Juliet Act III, scene I)

Indeed it is. And we must prepare for it to get worse.