Heaven on a Bun

I had this monstrosity for dinner Saturday night after church. We took Ken and Linda out for dinner after church, and thought we’d go homestyle. Not that mom ever made anything like this…

I can’t say I actually felt my arteries hardening as I ate it, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened. Anyway, it was pretty darn tasty…albeit loaded with everything bad. But what isn’t, really?

I guess it’s just that Denny’s, in its own way, is sort of “our place.” We went there for a late breakfast/brunch the first time we went out. We had dinner somewhere nicer, but Denny’s is the first place we ate together. It’s also the place where I told her parents I wanted to marry her, if they were cool with it.

They were.

Anyway, it’s been a pretty awesome two years. Though I suppose I won’t have too many “Slamburgers.” Not if I want to keep on trucking for another few decades, anyway…

But for now, let me just say thanks to Denny’s…you make good breakfast!

12 Top Beer Myths

12 Most common beer myths exploded

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy

–Benjamin Franklin

Beer gets a bad rap. It’s blamed for so much of society’s ills, when it should be celebrated as one of the finest beverages created.

There are a number of persistent myths and urban legends about beer that are passed around that unfairly distort the facts and confuse beer drinkers.

At LegendsOfBeer.com, we’d like to set the record straight and explode 12 of the most common beer myths, for once and for all. So take a read of these myths and the truth behind them and start spreading the good beer news!

Photo by elkojote

Myth #1: The Guinness served in Ireland is different to the rest of the world

Actually, the Guinness served in Ireland is most likely the same as that served in Boston or Berlin. However, many people will attest that Guinness simply tastes better in Ireland, which is why the myth spread. There’s a certain amount of sentimentality in this myth, but when you dig into it, most of the reasoning is pretty circumstantial.

There are a few reasons why it may taste better in Ireland – most likely freshness and rapid keg turnover (a pub in Dublin will serve the freshest Guinness in the world) – but the actual product is not any different that the black stuff served around the world. Also, a Guinness drinker in Ireland is guaranteed to have their drink poured correctly in Ireland than in some parts of the world, which will have an impact on the quality of the experience.

 

Myth #2: Lite beers will help you lose weight

On average, a lite beer will have 90-100 calories, while a regular beer might have under 200. In the grand scheme of things, lite beers will contribute very little to your dietary goals, and considering their typical lack of taste, you’d be better off drinking one or two regular beers.

 

Myth #3: Dark beers are stronger in alcohol

The color of beer has no relation to its alcohol content. For example, Guinness, one of the most popular dark beers has an alcohol volume of 4.2%, while several light-colored Belgian beers have alcohol content of 8%+.

 

Myth #4: Corona beer contains urine

This was a nasty rumor claiming that Mexican brewery workers were relieving themselves into the beer. Allegedly, the rumor was spread by a Heineken distributor and was only refuted following a lawsuit by Corona.

 

Myth #5: Imported beers are stronger than American beers

Traditionally, American beers measure their alcohol content by weight, while many other countries (across Europe and in Canada) measure by volume. The alcohol by weight figure will always appear lower than the alcohol by volume – for example, 4% ABW = 5% ABV, hence the myth creation.

 

Myth #6: Beer should be served ice-cold for best flavor

This is an unfortunate myth perpetuated by the major commercial breweries – especially for their lite beers. The fact is, flavor typically diminishes when beer is served ice-cold. It may make for a thirst-quenching, refreshing beverage, but often bears little resemblance to traditional beer. Several beers are, in fact, best served much closer to room temperature or slightly cool and are considered undrinkable when icy cold – such as Guinness and many of the traditional English ales.

 

Myth #7: The best beers have green bottles

Another myth that circulated imported beers. Brown glass is the best color to protect beer from light, which is why most beers are bottled with it. A shortage of brown glass in Europe during the last century led to many breweries using green glass to bottle their beer – therefore, green bottles represented imported beer for many years and people incorrectly assumed the color indicated a better beer.

 

Myth #8: “Beer before liquor, never sicker – liquor before beer, in the clear”

This is common drinking advice shared but not scientifically true. In reality, alcohol is alcohol, and the overall quantity you imbibe will determine your resulting (in)sobriety or hangover. Drinking beer before drinking hard liquor may prolong the onset of inebriation. However, it won’t ultimately matter whether you drink beer first or last; it’s the quantity of alcohol that does the damage.

 

Myth #9: You can’t get a hangover from drinking organic beer

If only being eco-friendly was this rewarding! This myth is based on the idea that organic beer is cleaner or purer than other beer, but there’s no existing proof that it manages to avoid giving hangovers when consumed in sufficient quantities.

 

Myth #10: Beer will raise your cholesterol levels

Beer actually contains no fat and no cholesterol! Perhaps this is one reason that Guinness was originally advertised as good for your health.

 

Myth #11: A good beer must be high in alcohol

Many people unfairly associate low alcohol with low flavor. There are plenty of poor quality beers that are high in alcohol content, and the opposite is also true. Some of the famous Belgian and German beers have traditionally high average alcohol content – perhaps 8% or 10%. However, the alcohol content is only one feature and doesn’t necessarily account for the good taste. In England, many of the best mild ales have alcohol content of 4% or less – resulting from a higher tax on stronger beer. Of course, the advantage is finding good-tasting, lower alcohol beers is that you can drink more of it!

 

Myth #12: Beer kills brain cells

Possibly the most damning of all beer myths, and we’re happy to explode this for you. An Australian study has determined that beer is not responsible for killing brain cells as was once thought.

 

The most wonderful thing in the world…

OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
Hershey’s Take 5
WEIGHT: 2 oz.
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
Truly unique: Start with a pretzel base, with plenty of caramel, peanuts, and peanut butter layered on top, all of which is dunked into milk chocolate. Take 5 is divided into two halves – just like Almond Joy, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and the ill-fated Glo-Balls.

It’s as if someone escaped from Ben & Jerry’s Headquarters and took the Hershey plant hostage for a day, forcing everyone inside to make a candy bar that tasted like Chubby Hubby, minus the ice cream.

SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX – 1-10):  9.3

UPSIDE

: How did it take the U.S. candy industry this long to try such a candy combo? After all, mixing a ton of stuff into one sweet treat has been an ice cream industry standard now for over 15 years. Turns out, it works in a candy bar, too.
 
 

 

 

The pretzel base is just smart. Put a waffle pretzel at bottom and pile on the fixins!  (Go ahead, kids – this is one trick you can try at home.) Holy smokes, this is good candy. And very satisfying, too. Eat just one half of it and you feel like, if you had to – if robbers swooped in and took your other half – you could go on with life without really needing that second half. But fortunately Take 5 robbers don’t exist (yet), so you’re free to enjoy that second half when you’re good and ready. Immediately after eating the first half, for example.


DOWNSIDE
:

The packaging.
Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in Warner Bros. Pictures' Charlie and the Chocolate FactoryYou’ve got to be kidding me. Hershey’s finally comes up with a killer candy bar, and they decide to hide it by wrapping it into a bright red, reflective gold-lettered package that screams Energy Bar for Geeks. It honestly looks like a Hershey’s product manager decided that he wanted to try and appeal to both snackers and health nuts – snackers would get the ultimate candy combo, and health nuts would get the ugly reflection wrapper they’ve come to expect from Health Bars disguised as candy. Only the packaging repels snackers and health nuts are obsessed with reading ingredients. Nice work.
I’m honestly pissed off. Who designed this package – the makers of New Coke? The same ass that dressed Johnny Depp’s Willie Wonka to look like a cross between a member of The Cure, Betty Boop and an extra in Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More” video?
And for gosh sakes, the cross-section image of the candy looks like my eighth grade Earth Science textbook’s drawing of layers of the earth’s crust. Do I see igneous rock in there?

DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO – EXPLAIN):

Yes. The candy is so good you’re going to be closing your eyes in ecstasy, anyway, thereby allowing you the added benefit of not having to stare at the hideous packaging.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NAME “TAKE 5”? 
 

Clever, but it works better on paper than in reality. I just don’t see kids saying to their parents, “I want a Take 5!” Or, if Hershey’s offers these in movie theaters (where they really belong – a perfect sensory overload to get you through the 10 minutes of movie trailers), I can’t see someone saying to a flakey snack attendant, “I’ll take two Take 5’s… no wait, three Take 5’s. Four Take 5’s? Okay, I guess my wife is going to take one, so four Take 5’s.” There’s no way you’re not getting 20 candy bars after a conversation like that. (Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing if each candy bar in a theater didn’t cost you a mortgage.)
 

HAVE SO MANY READERS EVER REQUESTED A SNACK REPORT BE WRITTEN THAN IN THE CASE OF TAKE 5?

 

 

Not even close. Those who brave the packaging to find the delicious snack hidden underneath have been awarded for their courage. And then they all turn around and email WASAW asking us to review it. Done.

On a side note, Hershey’s would do well to approach Netflix or a similar DVD-rental mail company and ask to insert a coupon for a free Take 5 candy bar in each DVD rental that gets mailed out. Take 5 just really tastes like a great movie snack, and such a promotion would greatly help awareness for a snack that would appear to be in serious need of some marketing help