Beautiful

I have spent a large majority of my life looking at paintings

Moments of time and segments of the universe captured on different shapes and sizes

of canvas

I become mesmerized by the subtle stroke of the brush

The way the artist so delicately depicts areas and aspects to scale

To the point that my heart feels a sudden rush

As if I could reach my hand out and touch every last detail

As if this was a dream

Caught up in the scene

I find my heart slipping further and further into…love

***

This is a story of my bent

I prefer shadows

***

This is not a conscious decision that I resolved to make

To be honest, images are just easier for me to take

Easily digested, I could chew all day

And eventually be able to wrap my mind around what the picture is trying to say

***

So I stare

I stare deeply into the deepest point of the portrait

Thinking that the pain of this world around me will somehow let go

Hoping that somehow this paradigm will satisfy my soul

***

But I end up empty

I end up thirsty

Longing for a drink

And once again I return, crawling to Your feet

Broken, ashamed, desperate for relief

I have chased creation to its end and wound up on my knees

Begging for forgiveness while hoping You can’t see me

Because I know the truth about me

***

I know that You have delivered for my every need

But I also know that as soon as You give me manna, I start demanding meat

I know that You have been my Protector through pain and suffering

But I also know how quickly my heart asks where You are as soon as I can’t see the

path beneath my feet

***

So don’t look at me

I can’t stand the sight of me

So how can You, in Your infinite glory, allow me to be in Your presence?

Yet You

With a voice that calms the sea of anxiety in my soul

Tell me to look up

And Your eyes

That see right through me

Tell me that You knew me

And I behold You in all Your beauty

And I’m…satisfied

A heart that has constantly tried to find its purpose in everything else in life finally

resides at rest

***

Because Your beauty is much more than infatuation

Your beauty provides my soul with satiation

Beauty that transcends to give Your children definition

For in Your presence I can clearly see that I’m not defined by my sins

My life is not marked by my bents

Because when I look into Your face the world grows strangely dim

And I fall in

***

You’re all that I see

All that I know

A son returning to his Father and a Father meeting him on the road

Welcoming me home

And before I can utter the words “I’m sorry”

You tell me that You already know

***

You know me

The real me

The me that I’ve been both chasing and running away from my entire life

So scared that if you were to cut me open with a knife

That disgust and darkness would be the color I would bleed

And that You would be embarrassed that You chose to ransom me

***

Yet that’s the me You know

That’s the me You love

***

So I give up

I give in

And I extend my broken, desperate, calloused skin to touch the edge of Your robe

And even just the fringes brings healing to my soul

For what seems like the first time in my life I see You as beautiful

Wholly, completely enough

No longer am I staring at empty promises painted on pointless portraits

But instead I’m peering into pure love

***

You are better than the things that I’ve been chasing

You are beautiful

You are my joy in the trials that I am facing

You are beautiful

Peace to my storm, stronger than my addiction

Help in my time of need, comfort in my affliction

You are beautiful

And You will forever be

***

So fix my eyes to consistently see

Cause my mind to constantly think

Give my heart a new song to sing

Fill my lungs so that they always breathe

You

For You are beautiful

s

–Issac Wimberly

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Published by

twilk68

God has changed my life, and changed me. It's that simple. I will ever be grateful, and if I live to be...well, OLD, I will never tire of telling people about the work done in my life, and what can be done in theirs, should they trust God with their innermost everything...

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