You are everything I will ever need
to complete everything you are asking of me
So I lay it all down for the sake of
Here I am, God, use me, set me aflame…
It’s so interesting the times God chooses to communicate something to a person. It’s 0440 and I want to be asleep. Lord knows I should be. Yet here I lie, thinking the above song lyric.
Why now, God?
What do I have to offer that you need, or can use? I can’t even manage to sleep…my mind keeps spitting out praise lyrics, like some demented late night Wurlitzer…
you are my all in all
And I wish I could praise you with my own words, but I keep coming back to the words of others, perhaps because my words are not enough
if I had no voice, if I had no tongue, I would dance for you like the rising sun
If I could say what I really meant I would say something to thank you for pulling me from the quicksand that was my life and making a man out of me.
I would thank you for coming to me in my weakness and not my strength, and for showing me it was ok to grieve and be broken.
I would thank you for holding my patchwork heart in your hands, and loving me even when I feel like a ****up. I would thank you for the beautiful and Godly woman who sleeps behind me as I thumb type this, who makes me want to be better.
If I had more words, better words, I’d thank you for showing me my gifts, and bringing me to this smallish town and bringing people like Ken, and Paul, and Jeff, and Zeb and Alan into my life–Godly men who love you and are helping me to pull something out of myself I didn’t know existed.
If I had the words, I would thank you for your Word, and your words, that bring life, that
wake me up inside
And here’s the other thing, maybe the last thing for now. Maybe there are people I know who will read this who do not believe. They might give a little sigh of exasperation because here I go again.
Well, so what.
I may not be the best writer or speaker or teacher or husband or whatever. But I am learning, all the time, and I am realizing that
we were meant to live for so much more
I know this and feel it in my heart. My words might not properly represent you at times before others, maybe even most times. But I know what you’ve done in my life, and nothing anyone says or believes about me can change that.
So I offer you my service, such as it is.
here I am God, use me