Mea Culpa

I read something today that really shook me up. On the weblog “Stuff Christians Like,” Jon Acuff wrote:

“I want Christ to be in charge of my growth. A Christ that didn’t say to the disciples, “Come and you will learn how to be fishers of men.” A Christ who said, “Come and I will make you fishers of men.”

If you and I believed for a second that the same power that raised Christ from the dead was in us, can you fathom how different that day would be?”

It occurred to me to wonder when I stopped doing this. It is not that I have stopped believing, because I haven’t. It’s just that the everyday business of being a Christian has taken the place of being with Christ, and feeling and believing He is within me.

Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself. Work is going well, I love my wife, and I am also making good grades in school. I go to church a couple times a week, and men’s group on Thursday. I’m a really religious guy.

And that’s where the problem is.

Somewhere along the line I got a little lost in doing all the things Christian people are “supposed” to do, and forgot the most important thing of all: do the things God prompts me to do, the things his spirit leads me to do.

If I’m not doing that, my “religion” is empty, and I might as well just be doing a job rather than “worshipping.” I have not allowed his Spirit to speak to me, to lead me.

That’s something that has to stop. I could complain and complain about how my church isn’t like the one I had in San Diego, and that’s why I haven’t been as “spiritual,” but that wouldn’t be the truth. It’s true FCC and Newbreak are very different, but FCC is no less spirit filled, and spirit led.

If the spirit has been quiet, it’s because I have not been listening.

I don’t want to live that way anymore, and I am not going to. People say all the time that they want to be filled with the Holy Spirit—they pray for it, too. I heard someone (I don’t remember who) say something not long ago to the effect of “we already are filled with the Holy Spirit.”

That’s true, isn’t it? He lives within our hearts.

I just have to let him lead me, and listen to him.

Should be easy, right?