Today, I’ve been spending a fair amount of time thinking about Romans 8:28. You know the verse. You’ve probably heard it quite a bit from your pastor. I know I have.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I’ve been thinking about it because I never would have thought God would use what amounted to a nervous breakdown and a large cut in pay for good. Not that he couldn’t do it, I just didn’t think it would shake out like that.
It’s true my previous job function was very stressful, and that stress manifested itself very strongly through a series of very intense expressions of emotional…uh, energy. More like reactions, I guess–that resulted in a long medical vacation while I got my wits about me once more.
I’ve been fortunate at the opportunity to transfer laterally within the company (which is a very good one) into another position that I am perhaps more suited for, to a section with much less stress. I’m no longer in an isolated position and little opportunity for social interaction, either, but am working closely with a friend, and for another couple of friends, one of whom is the worship leader at my church.
My breakdown was ugly, and lots of people were around to witness it on a couple of occasions–one of which was at church. Yet God was faithful, and saw my hurt–even more importantly, my need.
So while I wouldn’t have chosen what happened, I see that God used it for my good.
I believe God used my brokenness to reveal something else within me, and to bring new healing to my life. I won’t complain about that at all.
For now, at least, I look out a dirty window every morning while the sun comes up instead of at a wall. I do my daily reading literally watching the sun rise over the desert. And this morning, there were a couple of tiny kit foxes watching me do it through the open door of my little shack.
That’s worth a pay cut in my book.