Foxes at the Tower

Today, I’ve been spending a fair amount of time thinking about Romans 8:28. You know the verse. You’ve probably heard it quite a bit from your pastor. I know I have.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I’ve been thinking about it because I never would have thought God would use what amounted to a nervous breakdown and a large cut in pay for good. Not that he couldn’t do it, I just didn’t think it would shake out like that.

It’s true my previous job function was very stressful, and that stress manifested itself very strongly through a series of very intense expressions of emotional…uh, energy. More like reactions, I guess–that resulted in a long medical vacation while I got my wits about me once more.

I’ve been fortunate at the opportunity to transfer laterally within the company (which is a very good one) into another position that I am perhaps more suited for, to a section with much less stress. I’m no longer in an isolated position and little opportunity for social interaction, either, but am working closely with a friend, and for another couple of friends, one of whom is the worship leader at my church.

My breakdown was ugly, and lots of people were around to witness it on a couple of occasions–one of which was at church. Yet God was faithful, and saw my hurt–even more importantly, my need.

So while I wouldn’t have chosen what happened, I see that God used it for my good.

I believe God used my brokenness to reveal something else within me, and to bring new healing to my life. I won’t complain about that at all.

For now, at least, I look out a dirty window every morning while the sun comes up instead of at a wall. I do my daily reading literally watching the sun rise over the desert. And this morning, there were a couple of tiny kit foxes watching me do it through the open door of my little shack.

That’s worth a pay cut in my book.

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It’s Different Now

Sitting at McDonald’s and watching my son play with a bunch of kids. I remember those days, although when I was a kid, they didn’t have these giant play areas. We just brought in rocks from outside to play with. Or maybe dead rodents if we were one of the lucky ones.

And we liked it.

On a side note, I think Dante wrote “The Inferno” in a McDonald’s play area.

Don’t Worry

I don’t know if it’s the meds or the presence of the master within, but I’m not too worried about this shutdown business. It may sound a little cliche for people who don’t know what it feels like, but I know the work situation is in bigger and better hands than the government of the US or anywhere else.

Scripture tells me not to worry, so I won’t right now. Nobody wants this, but it’s here. Let’s use it for the best, and do something good.

But maybe not expensive, because it’s still going to eat up my vacation time.